i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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