I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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