Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Randomize
