David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
