I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he thought i was a dude.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
