North Korea, Best Korea!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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