hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize