So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
