So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sext me about skeletons
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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