We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
