I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
ttyl tear gas
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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