...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
