That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
