Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
