When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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