Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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