My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
