AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
