i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
