Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
