I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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