I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
