just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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