Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
