We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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