If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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