My first STD was from a foam party
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Terrible idea I love it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize