I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
