I'm gonna have a badass scar
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
