Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
