her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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