1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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