Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
