Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
