yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
