Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
