it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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