I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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