I'm sorry my penis didn't work
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
