Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She even gives head with a lisp.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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