We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
