do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
