How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just blew my weed a kiss
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
