She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
