you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
