So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
