If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
