That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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