I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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