I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
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its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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