best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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