i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
