GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
