I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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