TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We left an ass print on the piano.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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