I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
