Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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