Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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