i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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