I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
