hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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