Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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