The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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