i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
